Author: Beaker Muppet

 

Slow Cooker Prime Rib

Time to sack up, march brave­ly into the unknown, and emerge with a new way to pre­pare the King of All Beef. No child sac­ri­fices needed.

Stop complaining. You knew this was coming.

Bacon Soap

Every­thing is bet­ter with bacon—even soap! No; it’s not soap that looks like bacon. It’s not bacon-scent­ed soap. Look, you’re over­think­ing this: It’s soap made of bacon. Hence the name: BACON. SOAP. Clear?

British Pub Meat Pie

The great thing about this recipe is that the ingre­di­ents and steps list­ed here are just basic sug­ges­tions for how to assem­ble the pie. You can put just about any ingre­di­ents togeth­er and still wind up with a killer tasty pie.

Unmucked Fuffins

The first time I tried this recipe I real­ly mucked it up—way too much flour. That’s right: I mucked up the fuffins. So pay attention!

Fluffy Scrambled Eggs

You know how when you go to a din­er or deli, the omelettes or scram­bled eggs are all pret­ty and fluffy? How do they do that? Sim­ple: By sum­mon­ing demons, which I don’t rec­om­mend. Here’s a safer way to make fluffy eggs yourself.

Multiple Personalities Chicken Soup

It’s always good to have fresh chick­en, but maybe not THAT fresh.

Spaghetti and Chicken Balls

Yeah. Chick­ens have balls.

Maple Bacon Popcorn

You had me at “bacon.”

Real Live Honest-to-Louvre French Baguette

Mak­ing bread isn’t dif­fi­cult. Mak­ing baguette with that crisp, deep gold­en-brown crust and chewy insides with skil­lions of holes—it’s a chal­lenge. But the ingre­di­ents aren’t fan­cy or expen­sive: Yeast, flour, salt, water. You can afford some tri­al and error, and the end result is worth it!

Mouth Orgasm Cheesecake

Warn­ing: Don’t take this cheese­cake to work unless you want a huge sex­u­al harass­ment lawsuit.