Skillet Cornbread

The oper­a­tive word in this recipe’s title is SKILLET. If you don’t have a 9‑inch cast-iron skil­let that would also make a dandy mur­der weapon, go cook your­self some free-range tofu in your $2,000 water­less cop­per skil­let (hand­made by the very finest Amish Zen Mas­ters of Nepal, of course).

No.

California Cheese Casserole

I’m so sor­ry about the grilled cheese pic­ture. Oh, wait—no I’m not.

Ginger Marinated Tuna Steak With Wasabi Butter

Best tuna steak you’ll ever taste. Don’t feed it to your cat or I will find you and things could get ugly.

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Does Venezue­lan Beaver Cheese exist? How do you milk a beaver, any­way? Does Venezuela even have beavers?

Sauce. Alfredo Sauce. Stirred, Not Shaken

You can call this Super­nat­ur­al Elf Coun­selor Sauce if you want, but that’s too sil­ly for me.

Cheesy Cornbread

You know what’s bet­ter than hot home­made corn­bread? NOTHING.

Lone Star Inn Honey Butter

Not stolen from Texas Road­house! No law­suit necessary!

Wasabi Butter

I would warn you not to rub your butt with wasabi, but it’s a self-cor­rect­ing problem.

Hifalutin Mac & Cheeses

Any­body can make Krapft Mac & “Cheese.” This stuff is so good it takes four REAL cheeses.

Bacon Cheddar Muffins

Putting a cat in this muf­fin is not recommended.