My dad always pronounced “Parmesan” as “PAMERZAM!” I thought that was its real name until I was in my 20s. So it’s PAMERZAM!–always has been; always will be. You’ll get over it.
Sorry, pepperoni: You might tell the greatest jokes in history, but you’re too delicious to spare. We’ll have to get our jokes elsewhere.
How about some spuds so smooth and creamy you can’t decide whether to eat ’em or shave with ’em?
You can call this Supernatural Elf Counselor Sauce if you want, but that’s too silly for me.
Pasta, cheese and bacon: Enough noms that you can forgive broccoli’s presence.
Not special as in “short-bus special.” Special as in “Oooh! This is specially good!”
This is so good your kids won’t even complain about eating veggies!
Offer them a wok they can’t refuse.
Read this book right after dinner. That is the very closest a cat should ever get to your lasagnea.