Sauce. Alfredo Sauce. Stirred, Not Shaken

You can call this Super­nat­ur­al Elf Coun­selor Sauce if you want, but that’s too sil­ly for me.


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  • Ingre­di­ents
  • 2 tbsp. sweet cream butter
  • 2 tbsp. olive oil
  • 2 gar­lic cloves, minced
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 14 tsp. white pepper
  • 12 cup grat­ed PAMERZAM! cheese, plus more for garnish
  • 34 cup grat­ed moz­zarel­la cheese
  • 12 oz. fet­tuc­ci­ni or angel hair pasta
  • Option­al: 2 tbsp. chopped parsley
  • Option­al: Fresh­ly cracked black pepper

If you’re won­der­ing where the name Alfre­do comes from, here’s the 411:

Alfre­do is the Ital­ian, Span­ish, or Por­tuguese form of the Eng­lish name Ælfræd (Alfred). It com­bines the Mid­dle Eng­lish ele­ments ælf, mean­ing elf (one with super­nat­ur­al pow­ers), and ræd, which means “to counsel.”

So Alfre­do (sort of) means “super­nat­ur­al elf coun­selor.” But titling this recipe Super­nat­ur­al Elf Coun­selor Sauce would be too sil­ly, so we’re gonna go with Alfre­do Sauce plus a not-so-sub­tle James Bond reference.


This is the best Alfre­do sauce you’re ever gonna taste—unless you burn it. And this sauce will burn faster than a naked albi­no gin­ger at Burn­ing Man, so the fre­quent “stir often” men­tions  com­ing up are reminders to keep stir­ring. Plan on stir­ring it non­stop as soon as you add the cream. You won’t regret it.

Put but­ter and olive oil togeth­er in a medi­um saucepan over low/medium heat, stir­ring until the but­ter melts.

Add the gar­lic, cream, and white pep­per; bring mix­ture to a simmer.

Keep stir­ring!

Add the PAMERZAM! and sim­mer for 8–10 min­utes, or until sauce has thick­ened and is smooth and creamy.

Add the moz­zarel­la and stir, like your life depends on it, until the moz­zarel­la is melt­ed and the sauce is smooth again.

Plate the pas­ta and spoon sauce over it.

Gar­nish with pars­ley, fresh­ly cracked black pep­per and more grat­ed PAMERZAM!