Mouth Orgasm Cheesecake

Warn­ing: Don’t take this cheese­cake to work unless you want a huge sex­u­al harass­ment lawsuit.


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  • The Cheese­cake!
  • Approx­i­mate­ly 34 cup vanil­la wafer crumbs.
  • But­ter
  • 3 8‑oz. pack­ages of Philly Cream cheese (room temp)
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 3 large eggs (room temp)
  • 1–2 tsp. vanilla

Pre­heat oven to 350°.

Grease an 8‑inch spring­form pan or 9×12 glass Pyrex dish with the but­ter and sprin­kle vanil­la wafer crumbs even­ly over bottom.

Mix remain­ing 4 ingre­di­ents with mix­er and pour over the crumbs.

Bake 25–35 min­utes or till cen­ter seems fair­ly sta­ble when gen­tly jig­gled. Some­times may need to bake longer (this is why you watch carefully).

While cheese­cake bakes, pre­pare topping:

  • The Top­ping!
  • 16-oz. car­ton of sour cream
  • 3 tbsp. sugar
  • 12 tsp. vanilla

Mix well with mix­er. When cheese­cake is almost done, remove from oven and imme­di­ate­ly gen­tly spoon sour cream top­ping over top work­ing from the edges inward. Return prompt­ly to oven for approx­i­mate­ly 8 minutes.

Cheesecakin’ Like a BOSS!

Cool­ing it down and refrig­er­at­ing it prop­er­ly is the key to not hav­ing a goopy mess: Turn off the oven and open the door sev­er­al inches—and STOP. Allow the oven and the cheese­cake to cool at least 30 min­utes before remov­ing cheesecake.

Cool com­plete­ly on wire rack.

Refrig­er­ate for at least 3 hours before serving.