Fluffy Scrambled Eggs

You know how when you go to a din­er or deli, the omelettes or scram­bled eggs are all pret­ty and fluffy? How do they do that? Sim­ple: By sum­mon­ing demons, which I don’t rec­om­mend. Here’s a safer way to make fluffy eggs yourself.

No; not eggs for Fluffy. Just fluffy eggs!
  • Ingre­di­ents:
  • 4 large eggs
  • 2 tsp butter
  • 2 tbsp milk
  • 18 tsp bak­ing powder
  • Salt
  • Pep­per
  • 12 cup grat­ed ched­dar cheese

I’ve nev­er been con­cerned about pre­sen­ta­tion when I cook. It’s all gonna be eat­en so why both­er mak­ing it pret­ty? (I also apply this phi­los­o­phy to mak­ing my bed, shav­ing and oth­er wastes of time).

This is dif­fer­ent, though. An omelette with fluffy eggs is not only pret­ti­er than your stan­dard home­made omelette, but it also tastes bet­ter. This is all thanks to this secret ingre­di­ent: Bak­ing pow­der.

ALERT! BAKING POWDER, NOT BAKING SODA!

We’re talk­ing about bak­ing pow­der, not bak­ing soda. I know, when I see a recipe call for bak­ing pow­der I often have to start over because I went on autopi­lot and used soda.

Here are the three most impor­tant rules about fluffy eggs:

  1. Start room-tem­perature eggs.
  2. Whisk the bejab­berz out of the eggs before cook­ing them, and
  3. Under­cook them just a lit­tle. Details to follow.

Room temperature eggs:

Com­bine room tem­perature eggs, bak­ing pow­der, salt and pep­per, and milk.

Bejabberz:

Whisk them. A lot. Fast. How fast? Like you’re mak­ing whipped cream. Whisk ’em! Whisk ’em good! Whisk the bejab­berz out of them. No, you may not use a mix­er or blender, ya lazy bum.

The eggs will start to get frothy. Keep going.

When they’re frothy enough to suit you, let them sit at room tem­perature for 5 minutes.

In the mean­time, get your skil­let hot and but­tery till the but­ter’s siz­zling. (Don’t you love that nut­ty smell?)

Push the eggs around with a spat­u­la or let ’em make a pan­cake if you’re mak­ing an omelette.

Undercook the eggs!

If you like your eggs a lit­tle run­ny, ignore this. If you don’t, under­cook them a lit­tle bit any­way. They’ll coast on up to the cor­rect done­ness in a minute or two. If you cook them till they’re done, they’ll get rub­bery or turn brown on the out­side, nei­ther of which is appetizing.

‘1/8 teaspoon of baking powder! WTF?

I see you noticed that too. If you need only 18 of a tea­spoon for four eggs, that’s 132 tea­spoon for each egg. How the heck do you mea­sure some­thing that small?

You could eye­ball it; “just a pinch” or what­ev­er. Keep in mind, though, that this isn’t sea­son­ing. Too lit­tle bak­ing pow­der and you’ll get unfluffy eggs; too much and you’ll have chalky eggs that taste like bak­ing soda.

I’m sure a lot of cooks can get away with eye­balling it. I’m not that con­fi­dent, so I got some tiny mea­sur­ing spoons, which come in 14 tsp, 18 tsp, 116 tsp, 132 tsp, ands 164 tsp. $8 on Ama­zon; check ’em out right here.