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Food!

Food!

It's food! Can't you read?

All the Foods!

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  • PAMERZAM!
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  • WASH YER SISTER!
 
Wash up! It's time for:

FOOD!

Sesame Miso Dressing

Says a who?

  • Categories:
  • Dressing
  • Japanese

Japanese Carrot-Ginger Dressing

A carrot/ginger haiku:

The car­rot is sweet
And, since oppo­sites attract,
Gin­ger is pungent!

  • Categories:
  • Dressing
  • Japanese

Roasted Garlic Balsamic Vinaigrette

Look, it’s sim­ple: You can get some good bal­sam­ic, or you can send your kids to college.

  • Categories:
  • Dressing
  • GARLIC!

French Vinaigrette Dressing

Pepe Le Pew would have had much bet­ter luck with all those cats if he’d had this recipe.

  • Categories:
  • Dressing
  • French
  • Salad

Pepperoni Caesar Salad

Sor­ry, pep­per­oni: You might tell the great­est jokes in his­to­ry, but you’re too deli­cious to spare. We’ll have to get our jokes elsewhere.

  • Categories:
  • GARLIC!
  • PAMERZAM!
  • Salad

Special Cheese Manicotti

Not spe­cial as in “short-bus spe­cial.” Spe­cial as in “Oooh! This is spe­cial­ly good!”

DAMN you, autocorrect!
  • Categories:
  • Casseroles
  • Entrées
  • Manicotti
  • Mozzarella
  • PAMERZAM!

Memphis Smoked Pork

If you think this recipe is time-con­sum­ing, just keep in mind that it’s tra­di­tion­al to sit around and drink beer while you’re grilling.

  • Categories:
  • Entrées
  • Grilling/Barbecue
  • Meat!
  • Pork

Hot Dogs in Sweaters

My favorite dip­ping sauce? Scotch.

You have 8 seconds to get this off me before I go for your throat.
  • Categories:
  • Bread
  • Entrées
  • Guilty Pleasures
  • Hot Dogs

Vietnamese Skewered Pork and Onions

Serves four, unless you eat it all your­self. You prob­a­bly will.

  • Categories:
  • Entrées
  • Meat!
  • Vietnamese

Creamy Potatoes and Kielbasa

What do you call an explod­ing kiel­basa? A kiel­basano­va! THANK YOU! I’M HERE ALL WEEK!

  • Categories:
  • Cheddar
  • Entrées
  • Polish
  • Pork
  • SPUDS!

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Home Copyright© 2015, FOOD! If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, congratulations! Do not autoclave. Keep away from open flame. May cause hunger pangs and excessive salivation. Light fuse and get away. Wash hands. Push button. Rub hands together under warm air. Do not insert into penis. You must be this tall ↑ to enter the ride. Driver does not carry cash. This product has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Safety goggles and HazMat suit recommended. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate. Keep out of reach of children. Better yet: Keep children out of reach. Suffocation risk. Do not wash hair or clothing in the toilet. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. May cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify the fun. Never work with a forklift driver named Klaus. Not intended for highway use. Stunt driver on closed course. Do not attempt. Don't forget to feed your Trunk Monkey. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Avoid California: Everything in California causes cancer.