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Food!

Food!

It's food! Can't you read?

All the Foods!

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Wash up! It's time for:

FOOD!

Corn Ribs

So good you’ll be cobsmacked.

  • Hat Tip:
  • TikTok
  • Categories:
  • Side Dishes
  • Veggies

Irish Soda Bread

I have no idea why this recipe uses both but­ter and mar­garine. I’ve tried replac­ing the mar­garine with more but­ter, though, and it was­n’t as good as it is with both. Sláinte.

  • Categories:
  • Bread
  • Side Dishes

Fluffy Scrambled Eggs

You know how when you go to a din­er or deli, the omelettes or scram­bled eggs are all pret­ty and fluffy? How do they do that? Sim­ple: By sum­mon­ing demons, which I don’t rec­om­mend. Here’s a safer way to make fluffy eggs yourself.

  • Hat Tip:
  • Lorraine
  • Categories:
  • Breakfast
  • Eggs

Chateaubriand

Take it from Sam Elliott and Han­ni­bal Lecter: You can’t go wrong with chateaubriand.

Insert your own "tube steak' joke.
  • Hat Tip:
  • Mom!
  • Categories:
  • Beef
  • Entrées

Yer Basic 8‑Yolk Pasta Dough

Tired of karaoke pas­ta? Here’s how to pro­mote your pas­ta from a resound­ing “meh” to GREAT pasta!

  • Hat Tip:
  • Aliza Green
  • Categories:
  • How Tos
  • Ingredients
  • Pasta

Garlic PAMERZAM! Shaving Cream

How about some spuds so smooth and creamy you can’t decide whether to eat ’em or shave with ’em?

  • Hat Tip:
  • Alton Brown
  • Categories:
  • GARLIC!
  • PAMERZAM!
  • Side Dishes
  • SPUDS!

Rosemary Focaccia

Focac­cia means “flat bread” in Ital­ian. Sor­ry if you were look­ing for a com­pli­cat­ed back story.

  • Hat Tip:
  • Gimme Some Oven
  • Categories:
  • Bread
  • HORSE DOOVERS!
  • Italian
  • Side Dishes

Spatchcocked Turkey

If you’re a hor­ror movie fan you’ll love this recipe: By the time you get the turkey in the oven, your kitchen will look like Jef­frey Dahmer’s apartment.

It's not a frog; it's a turkey. No Kermits were harmed during the production of this recipe.
  • Categories:
  • Entrées
  • Thanksgiving
  • Turkey

Murder Chili

This chili is to die for. Or kill for, at least.

  • Hat Tip:
  • Alton Brown
  • Categories:
  • Beef
  • Entrées
  • Soup/Stew

Slow Cooker Prime Rib

Time to sack up, march brave­ly into the unknown, and emerge with a new way to pre­pare the King of All Beef. No child sac­ri­fices needed.

Stop complaining. You knew this was coming.
  • Hat Tip:
  • Robby Melvin
  • Categories:
  • Beef
  • Entrées
  • Slow Cooker

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Home Copyright© 2015, FOOD! If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, congratulations! Do not autoclave. Keep away from open flame. May cause hunger pangs and excessive salivation. Light fuse and get away. Wash hands. Push button. Rub hands together under warm air. Do not insert into penis. You must be this tall ↑ to enter the ride. Driver does not carry cash. This product has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Safety goggles and HazMat suit recommended. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate. Keep out of reach of children. Better yet: Keep children out of reach. Suffocation risk. Do not wash hair or clothing in the toilet. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. May cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify the fun. Never work with a forklift driver named Klaus. Not intended for highway use. Stunt driver on closed course. Do not attempt. Don't forget to feed your Trunk Monkey. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Avoid California: Everything in California causes cancer.