Food!

Smell my butt all you want—you’re not getting any biscuits.

Putting a cat in this muffin is not recommended.

A good bowl of oatmeal is better than any politician, hands down.

Stop playing around and git in mah belly!

This recipe sails right past “Oh I say!” and “Wot’s all this then?” and approaches Terry-Thomas levels of sheer Britishness.

If you ever settle for any store-bought rub or sauce after trying this recipe, Chuck Norris will personally kick your ass clear off the planet.

This is sort of stolen from California Pizza Kitchen’s Kung Pao Spaghetti. But it’s Bruce Lee Spaghetti because it’s BADASS.

Respectfully renamed Pamerzam in honor of my dad!

Anybody can make Krapft Mac & “Cheese.” This stuff is so good it takes four REAL cheeses.

I’m not saying Gwyneth Paltrow made fun of my recipe. I’m just saying she has never denied it.

FOOD!