Author: Beaker Muppet

 

Mongo’s Fartin’ Ham & Beans

Mon­go only pawn in game of life, but Mon­go know good beans when Mon­go smell farts.

Corn Chowder

Cheeky lit­tle feller!

Oh, Fudge!

This fudge is so easy it’s a lit­tle embar­rass­ing. I won’t tell if you won’t!

Superlative Pancakes

You know you’re eat­ing some ossim pan­cakes when you run out of superla­tives to describe them.

Bacon Salt

If you read the title “Bacon Salt” but you did­n’t imme­di­ate­ly swoon, you’re a bad per­son and you should feel bad.

Chili Lime Beef Jerky

Q: What wine pairs best with beef jerky?
A: Beer!

Cranberry Sauce

Cran­ber­ry jel­ly: The bal­lis­tics gel of the berry universe.

Candied Ginger

If a recipe calls for can­died gin­ger, you can usu­al­ly mix up some ground gin­ger and sug­ar and call it good. But the real thing is much better.

Black Forest Brownie Torte

The future’s so bright my brown­ies wear shades.

French Toast

Jesus and Mary don’t appear on this French toast. This French toast appears on Jesus and Mary: They have match­ing tattoos.