Mongo’s Fartin’ Ham & Beans

Mon­go only pawn in game of life, but Mon­go know good beans when Mon­go smell farts.

  • Ingre­di­ents:
  • 1 lb. dried great north­ern beans
  • 3 gar­lic cloves, minced
  • 1 large sweet onion, chopped coarsely
  • 12 cup brown sugar
  • 1⁄2 tsp. kosher salt
  • 1⁄2 tsp. black pepper
  • 1 tbsp. chopped parsley
  • 14 tsp. cayenne pepper
  • 1 lb. smoked ham or 1 lb. ham hock 
    • Tip: It doesn’t real­ly mat­ter how much ham you have; just top off the water/broth once you load up your slow cooker.
  • 6 cups water or beef broth

Step 1:

A small his­to­ry les­son is in order here, so watch this video:

You’re wel­come!

Step 2:

Sort beans; soak ’em with enough water to cov­er them, then leave them soak­ing  overnight.


Sort the beans and cov­er by at least 2 inch­es in a saucepan. Heat to a boil; boil for 3 min­utes, then cov­er and remove from heat.

Allow to sit for one hour after boil­ing (don’t lift the lid!).

Step 3:

Either way, rinse and drain the beans and put ‘em in your slow cooker.

While you’re fid­dling with the beans, rough­ly chop the ham.

Add gar­lic, onion, brown sug­ar, salt, pep­per, pars­ley, cayenne pep­per and of course the ham (chopped into large chunks) or ham hocks into the crock pot along with 6 cups water or broth. If your ham has a bone, toss that in too. Cov­er with water 2 inch­es deep.

Another option:

Cook 5 or 6 slices of thick-cut bacon in a skil­let. Chop the bacon up and throw it in  the slow cook­er, but keep the drip­pings in the skil­let and use them to cook up the onions and gar­lic. You can just sweat the onions or caramelize them if you like. Drain the onions and gar­lic and in the slow cook­er they go.

Cov­er and cook on low for about 12 hours, or until beans are ten­der and creamy.

Skim any excess fat, if nec­es­sary, before serving.