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Food!

Food!

It's food! Can't you read?

All the Foods!

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  • WASH YER SISTER!
 
Wash up! It's time for:

FOOD!

Chicken Stock for the Mad Scientist’s Soul

I love recipes with zil­lions of options to tin­ker with, and stock is the quin­tes­sen­tial mad sci­en­tist recipe.

  • Categories:
  • Ingredients
  • Poultry

Chateaubriand

Take it from Sam Elliott and Han­ni­bal Lecter: You can’t go wrong with chateaubriand.

Insert your own "tube steak' joke.
  • Hat Tip:
  • Mom!
  • Categories:
  • Beef
  • Entrées

Apple Oatmeal Crisp

Fast, easy, inex­pen­sive and healthy! (Well, healthy for a dessert, anyway.)

  • Categories:
  • Apples
  • BACON!
  • Desserts
  • Oatmeal

Green Chili Rice Casserole

Fast, easy and cheap–three of my favorite things!

  • Categories:
  • Casseroles
  • Mexican
  • Rice
  • Side Dishes

Slow Cooker Corn Chili and Cornbread

Corn bread and corn chili: Two great tastes that taste bet­ter together!

  • Categories:
  • BACON!
  • Beef
  • Bread
  • Entrées
  • Soup/Stew

Meet the Wellington Family!

Beef Welling­ton: The grand­fa­ther of the Welling­ton fam­i­ly. Refined. Nuanced.

  • Categories:
  • Beef

Slow Cooker Prime Rib

Time to sack up, march brave­ly into the unknown, and emerge with a new way to pre­pare the King of All Beef. No child sac­ri­fices needed.

Stop complaining. You knew this was coming.
  • Hat Tip:
  • Robby Melvin
  • Categories:
  • Beef
  • Entrées
  • Slow Cooker

Bacon Soap

Every­thing is bet­ter with bacon—even soap! No; it’s not soap that looks like bacon. It’s not bacon-scent­ed soap. Look, you’re over­think­ing this: It’s soap made of bacon. Hence the name: BACON. SOAP. Clear?

  • Categories:
  • BACON!
  • Soap

British Pub Meat Pie

The great thing about this recipe is that the ingre­di­ents and steps list­ed here are just basic sug­ges­tions for how to assem­ble the pie. You can put just about any ingre­di­ents togeth­er and still wind up with a killer tasty pie.

  • Hat Tip:
  • James May
  • Categories:
  • British
  • Comfort Food
  • Entrées
  • Meat!

Unmucked Fuffins

The first time I tried this recipe I real­ly mucked it up—way too much flour. That’s right: I mucked up the fuffins. So pay attention!

  • Categories:
  • Blueberries
  • Muffins

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Home Copyright© 2015, FOOD! If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, congratulations! Do not autoclave. Keep away from open flame. May cause hunger pangs and excessive salivation. Light fuse and get away. Wash hands. Push button. Rub hands together under warm air. Do not insert into penis. You must be this tall ↑ to enter the ride. Driver does not carry cash. This product has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Safety goggles and HazMat suit recommended. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate. Keep out of reach of children. Better yet: Keep children out of reach. Suffocation risk. Do not wash hair or clothing in the toilet. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. May cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify the fun. Never work with a forklift driver named Klaus. Not intended for highway use. Stunt driver on closed course. Do not attempt. Don't forget to feed your Trunk Monkey. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Avoid California: Everything in California causes cancer.