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Food!

Food!

It's food! Can't you read?

All the Foods!

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  • WASH YER SISTER!
 
Wash up! It's time for:

FOOD!

Black Forest Chocolate Cheesecake

There is NEVER enough cheesecake.

  • Categories:
  • Cake
  • Chocolate
  • Desserts

Toenail-Free Almond Cookies

For some rea­son even the best Chi­nese restau­rants usu­al­ly serve fac­to­ry-pack­aged almond cook­ies with all the appeal of a card­board beer coast­er with a toe­nail on top. Here’s how to get that dis­gust­ing image out of your brain.

No.
  • Categories:
  • Chinese
  • Cookies
  • Desserts

Rice Krispies Brrraaaaaaainssssss

Don’t leave the eye­balls attached. We don’t want this to get gross.

  • Categories:
  • Desserts
  • Halloween

Zombie Boogers

It’s kind of dif­fi­cult to tell whether Iggy Pop is wear­ing zom­bie make­up or if he just looks like that anyway.

  • Categories:
  • Desserts
  • Halloween

Honey Brined Turkey

I’ve been using this brine exclu­sive­ly for sev­er­al years. It makes the turkey so moist and ten­der it almost falls apart like a good brisket.

  • Hat Tip:
  • Alton Brown
  • Categories:
  • Christmas
  • Entrées
  • Thanksgiving
  • Turkey

Speedy Bean & Bacon Soup

Let’s face it: Aliens vs. Preda­tors is a bet­ter love sto­ry than Twilight.

  • Categories:
  • BACON!
  • Entrées
  • Pork
  • Soup/Stew

Bean Counter Chowder

Don’t wor­ry; you’ll have more than three beans.

  • Categories:
  • Entrées
  • Soup/Stew

Beer & Cheese Soup

Amen!

  • Categories:
  • Cheese
  • Chicken
  • Entrées
  • Slow Cooker
  • Soup/Stew

Slow Cooker Chicken and Dumplings

You get dumplings, and YOU get dumplings, and YOU get dumplings!

  • Hat Tip:
  • Sarah
  • Categories:
  • Biscuits/Rolls
  • Chicken
  • Entrées
  • Slow Cooker

BBQ Turkey Joes

First you’re killing us all on Thanks­giv­ing, and now this?

  • Categories:
  • Sammiches
  • Turkey

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Home Copyright© 2015, FOOD! If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, congratulations! Do not autoclave. Keep away from open flame. May cause hunger pangs and excessive salivation. Light fuse and get away. Wash hands. Push button. Rub hands together under warm air. Do not insert into penis. You must be this tall ↑ to enter the ride. Driver does not carry cash. This product has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Safety goggles and HazMat suit recommended. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate. Keep out of reach of children. Better yet: Keep children out of reach. Suffocation risk. Do not wash hair or clothing in the toilet. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. May cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify the fun. Never work with a forklift driver named Klaus. Not intended for highway use. Stunt driver on closed course. Do not attempt. Don't forget to feed your Trunk Monkey. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Avoid California: Everything in California causes cancer.