Category:

Desserts

 

Toenail-Free Almond Cookies

For some rea­son even the best Chi­nese restau­rants usu­al­ly serve fac­to­ry-pack­aged almond cook­ies with all the appeal of a card­board beer coast­er with a toe­nail on top. Here’s how to get that dis­gust­ing image out of your brain.

No.

Black Forest Brownie Torte

The future’s so bright my brown­ies wear shades.

Candied Ginger

If a recipe calls for can­died gin­ger, you can usu­al­ly mix up some ground gin­ger and sug­ar and call it good. But the real thing is much better.

Swedish Cream

The most amaz­ing dessert you’ve ever tast­ed, or my name isn’t Svårgên Lüte­fîsk Løki Vîn Ümlaut Du Köm­mer Att Assim­i­l­eras of Børg!

Rice Krispies Brrraaaaaaainssssss

Don’t leave the eye­balls attached. We don’t want this to get gross.

Black Forest Chocolate Cheesecake

There is NEVER enough cheesecake.

Cranberry Sauce

Cran­ber­ry jel­ly: The bal­lis­tics gel of the berry universe.

Oh, Fudge!

This fudge is so easy it’s a lit­tle embar­rass­ing. I won’t tell if you won’t!

Zombie Boogers

It’s kind of dif­fi­cult to tell whether Iggy Pop is wear­ing zom­bie make­up or if he just looks like that anyway.

Candied Popcorn

Can­died pop­corn! Putting den­tists’ kids through col­lege since when­ev­er it was invented.