Lean back before you drool all over your keyboard.
- 1 large ripe whole pineapple, the biggest one you can find
- 1 lb. BBQ pork ribs, meat removed from the bones
- OPTIONAL: It doesn’t have to be ribs or pork. Throw in some pork loin or beef ribs or stew beef or whatever you like.
- (If you use beef, don’t come crying to me saying “Bovineapple” or “Cowapple” doesn’t sound as cool as “Swineapple”.)
- TIP: Don’t use any leftover meat that’s already cooked.
- 12 slices thick-cut bacon
- Your favorite barbecue sauce (if it’s not Texas Ranger sauce, may Chuck Norris have mercy on your soul!). 3 or 4 tbsp. should do it.
- (How much paprika? How the hell should I know? I don’t know how big your pineapple is or how much meat you have. Just put in an amount you like–usually about 2 tsp. for me).
Slice off the top of the pineapple and shave the sides.
Carve out the core, leaving about an inch of flesh all around, including the bottom (an ice cream scoop or melon baller is ideal for this). Hang on to all the flesh and juice for later.
Carve your meat into bite-size pieces and mix it up with your sauce and paprika. Don’t worry about drowning it in sauce or sugar; the pineapple’s gonna baste the meat with lots of pineapple juice. Spoon it all into the pineapple.
Put the top back on the pineapple and fasten it in place, so it wo—Hold it! Get rid of that damned duct tape! Whats the matter with you?
Fasten the top back on with some bamboo or metal skewers.
Make a basket weave with your bacon (see video below) and wrap it around the pineapple; use more skewers to hold it in place.
If you have a smoker, it’s perfect for this recipe. If you don’t, you can grill or bake it, but keep the heat low and be patient: Set the oven to 275° or keep the grill nice and low. If your grill’s big enough to let you cook indirectly, that’s perfect.
Put the swineapple on some heavy-duty foil, bacon side up (put the foil in a roaster if you’re using the oven).
Cook 3 to 4 hours, until the bacon is getting crispy, basting occasionally with the pineapple juice and flesh.
Serves 1, if you’re smart. More if you don’t want to hog it all.