Cthulhu’s Pie Crust From Scratch

If you’re not a Cthul­hu fan, pick a dif­fer­ent Great Old One.

  • Ingre­di­ents:
  • 2 12 cups all-pur­pose flour
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 6 tbsp. unsalt­ed but­ter, chilled and cubed
  • 34 cup veg­etable short­en­ing, chilled
  • 12 cup ice water
  • Parch­ment paper

Add flour, salt to a large mix­ing bowl.

Add chilled short­en­ing and but­ter; use a pas­try blender or fork to cut them into the flour until the mix­ture resem­bles coarse crumbs.

Add a table­spoon of water at a time until the dough begins to clump togeth­er; avoid over­mix­ing. You may not need the entire 12 cup of ice water.

Gen­tly mold the dough into a ball, then divide it into 2 pieces. Press each piece gen­tly with your hands into a flat disk.

Cov­er each disk with plas­tic wrap and refrig­er­ate the dough for 2 hours (or stick it in the freez­er for 30 min­utes).

Spread out a large sheet of parch­ment paper; light­ly flour one of the dough balls and place it on the paper.

Use your rolling pin to gen­tly press the pie dough out into a large cir­cle. Always start at the cen­ter of the crust, and work out­wards. You want your dough to be thin, and about 12 inch larg­er then the diam­e­ter of your pie dish.

Gen­tly turn the dough into your pie dish and remove the parch­ment paper. Set­tle it smooth­ly into the bot­tom and sides of the pan.