3rd Degree Burn Slaw

It’s not cole slaw. It’s not warm slaw. It’s not even hot slaw—it’s 3RD-DEGREE BURN SLAW!

This'll set your head on fire.
It'll be worth it.

I loves me some pick­led car­rots, but you can make this with yer tra­di­tion­al cab­bage and red onions, too. In fact, almost every­thing in this recipe has options or substitutions.

  • Ingre­di­ents!
  • 2 cups coarse­ly grat­ed or juli­enned carrots 
    • Option: 2 cups of any com­bi­na­tion of shred­ded red cab­bage, green cab­bage, or grat­ed car­rots you like
  • 1 Habañero pep­per, fine­ly diced
  • 1 Chipo­tle pep­per, thin­ly sliced 
    • Option: Any com­bi­na­tion and/or amount of spicy stuff you like: Car­oli­na Reapers, Ghost Pep­pers, napalm, ther­mite, plutonium—I don’t judge.
  • 1 cup chopped red onion 
    • Or 1 cup chopped what­ev­er onions you like
  • 2 tsp. kosher salt
  • 1 tsp. Viet­namese fish sauce 
    • Option: Soy sauce
    • Option: Oys­ter sauce
    • Option: WASH YER SISTER! sauce
    • Option: Mr. Bub­bles1
  • ½ cup brown sugar
  • ½ cup cider vinegar
  • ½ cup rice vinegar

In a large bowl, com­bine the carrots/cabbage, pep­pers, onion, salt and fish/soy/oyster/WASH YER SISTER! sauce. Toss well to combine.

  1. Kid­ding! Just want­ed to see if you’re pay­ing atten­tion. Don’t come cry­ing to me if you think all these hot spices are mak­ing you blow bub­bles instead of just farting.